The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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