If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
