Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
