I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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