My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
COCAINE IS GR8
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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