Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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