I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize