I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
