I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
How does one acquire holy water?
A+ Viking dick
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
