Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
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