Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
