Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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