New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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