Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
