I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize