bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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