Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You ruined the universe
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
