4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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