'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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