Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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