The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
