with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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