she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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