I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
