I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
