he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize