You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You left your phone here
Wait...
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
