she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize