I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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