first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
