'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
