Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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