Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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