The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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