got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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