dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You're so nebulous sometimes
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
