More tranny stories later!
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
