I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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