You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
