I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
