my mouth tastes like poor choices
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
