He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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