i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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