i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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