i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
