I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
But break dance skills will only take you so far
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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