he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Small penises have feelings too.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
