I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
