saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you will always have a special place in my vag
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
