i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
