Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
