we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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