How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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