are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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