We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I would fuck him just for his dog
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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