Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
