are you still at the devil's house?
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm bleeding and have questions
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
