Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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