Who wears a wallet chain?!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
