I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
