his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I've blown a few things in my day
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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