You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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