you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
