I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
