is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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