everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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