I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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