Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
