I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize