I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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