We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
