I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
