they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
