I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
