Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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