you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
