Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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