Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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