You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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