you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
