We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize